Top 5 Super Bowl Mishaps
Page Two Staff
February 2, 2012
Filed under Uncategorized
5. Fergie. Last year, the Black Eyed Peas were featured as the Halftime Show. None of us have ever been to a Peas concert, but we can’t imagine seats are selling after that performance. Not only did she sound like a pig dying a very painful death while giving birth, but she was also lit up like a Christmas tree. It wasn’t enough that we could hear her, we had to see her. And poor Slash, he didn’t deserve any of that. The guy must be sick of Sweet Child O’Mine. I’m sick of it just because of Guitar Hero. I can’t imagine what was going through his mind as Fergie whipped her hair back in forth while he’s trying to play the one song that he probably despises. Our best guess is he was paid a lot money and that still wasn’t enough. In our opinion he was the saving grace of that Halftime Show, but he didn’t deserve that torture. At least we could put the TV on mute.
4. Bush choking on a pretzel. Remember back in the good old days of the W? Well, they almost didn’t happen because President George W. Bush faced death in the form of a menacing pretzel. It was during his second presidency that President Bush was watching the playoffs (not technically the Super Bowl but close enough for our standards) while he innocently swallowed an entire pretzel. Glad our country was in the hands of such a brilliant man. And to think that we were worried about Osama! That whole time we should be worried about the Man Killing Pretzels!!
3. Dallas Snowpocalypse. I guess DC isn’t one to say anything, but honestly! Salt + Plows = NO PROBLEM. Because Dallas couldn’t pull it together 1,250 people lost their seats to the game of the year! Mother Nature clearly decided that Dallas was not worthy of hosting a game of this caliber. Although maybe it was retribution for having the Cowboys as their team…
2. Christina Aguilera singing the National Anthem. Yeah, getting the words right isn’t important or anything. Christina decided that tradition needed a little spicing up. Instead of singing, “O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming” Xtina made it contemporary by gracing us with this rendition, “What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last reaming.” DOES EDWARD CULLEN HAVE TO BE A PART OF EVERYTHING!? For goodness sakes this is FOOTBALL. Maybe if she would quit trying to belt her face off and change the melody she wouldn’t need to throw in Edward Cullen as a decoy. Leave the song changing to Weird Al, ok Xtina?
1. Janet and Justin. Remember that one time Janet Jackson had her clothes on during the Halftime Show…oh wait. Does anyone remember who was playing in that game? Or better yet who won? Right. We didn’t either. Thank you Janet and Justin for stealing the show. Honestly, we expected nothing less. We were hoping a spin off movie would result from their performance. Maybe a sequel to From Justin To Kelly? From Justin to Janet has a really nice ring to it. Wait for it! It’s going to happen. We have no complaints at all about the show. It was epic. Except there is one thing. Why did Janet have the “wardrobe malfunction” and not Justin? He is equally attractive, if not MORE, and Janet was the one to lose clothing. Not fair. I guess we’ll have to wait for another ‘N Sync star to grace the Halftime stage. On second thought, maybe not.