The Welsh Breakdown: The Gauntlet 2

Episode Grade: C
Previously, on "The Gauntlet 2:" Jodi realized how Mark looks like the steroid-pumping bizarro twin of Ryan Seacrest, and therefore got over him. Beth Kong didn't even try to participate in last week's mission. She still beat Idaho in the Gauntlet to no one's surprise, because let's face it, she's a monstrous ape. Derek and Beth Kong disputed in a classy and tasteful manner. Still kidding. Never happened, never gonna happen. Not on this show.
Currently on "Dropouts-R-Us," Alton and Jodi are talking outside. Aww, they make each other feel comfortable and both admit they think the other is attractive. Shocker, since being attractive is almost a prerequisite for being on this show. Except for Beth Kong; she just got lucky. Ew, I just said Beth Kong got lucky. Anyway, Alton is still healing from a past relationship he made last season on the Gauntlet-O-Love. I rewound it four times but still cannot understand what the girl's name is, something like air-ew-lawn. Whatever, I think she is from his wretched Las Vegas season so I'm not paying much attention to that particular detail.
Outside. Syrus and Beth Kong are sitting on a curb and talking. I guess the mansion wasn't good enough. I'm still waiting for the season when they surprise everyone and put the teams in a one-room shack. But that will never happen. Beth Kong says that Syrus is her only friend (on the team), and she is already having trouble coming up with the money to pay for that friendship, so she definitely cannot afford to buy another one. She asks Syrus who he thinks the weakest guys on the team are and Syrus responds, "Definitely you, Beth. What do you mean you're not a guy? Shut UP! But you're a giant, and you can grow facial hair!" Ok, not true, but Syrus admits he is one of the weaker players.
Sidebar: I did the research and found out that on Valentine's Day this year, Beth Kong will celebrate her 37th birthday. I will ignore the irony of someone like Beth Kong being born on Valentine's Day and skip right to the fact that this woman is only three years shy of her forties and is still at summer camp. This is not ok, people. Oh, and I also found out that she posed nude for "Playboy." I'll give you a minute to go vomit. It's ok; I can wait.
Day of the Mission. The teams see an oddly shaped contraption used for bull riding which will be called the Contraption of Sexual Undertone. Our host, who I will now be calling Camp Counselor JR Melvin, explains the mission titled "Buck-A-Neer." Did you see what they did there? With the title? The play on words? Just checkin'. Camp Counselor Nestin explains in further detail that while the team is on the Contraption of Sexual Undertone, they are not allowed to hold on to anything. Then we get our ONLY good shot of Jeremy for the entire evening. Stupid MTV.
Mission. The Rookies Team is riding the Contraption of Sexual Undertone first, while the Veterans try to knock them off. The Veterans do not make the ride very bumpy and none of the Rookies fall off. At one point, Katie gets mad at Robin and her mondo kochongas for talking too loud. Robin, whose mondo kochongas are looking more mondo than ever, stops what she is doing, grabs Katie by the ponytail and starts pounding her face in the ground while Katie begs for mercy. Wow, that would have made this episode much more entertaining, but in reality Robin just snapped back at her, with good reason. Katie's argument was both absurd and pathetic, much like this show.
Next, the Veterans climb aboard the Contraption of Sexual Undertone. The Rookies eventually knock Syrus off. Congratulations, you just RSVP'ed your invitation to the Gauntlet. Wow, that almost sounded cheesy enough for me to be one of the teammates. What is this show doing to me?
Gauntlet Deliberation. No one knows who they should vote for. However, after they tally up the votes, Syrus is picked. The Wheel of Gauntlety Doom is spun and once again ends up on Captain's Choice. Is this rigged? It always ends up there. Derrick inexplicably picks Beach Brawl. Alton and Jodi tell him what a stupid decision that was to make. We go to commercial, which is the best part of the evening when I see the Pepsi ad with Jimmy Fallon and Parker Posey dancing in the street and on top of a cab. Two words: Effing. Hysterical. Seriously, I rewound it at least seven times.
Gauntlet. There are arguments between Syrus and Derrick over bad calls. It's a good competition, but Derrick wins. After, Derrick tells the camera how he is concerned about losing another team player. What he should really be concerned about losing is his hair, 'cause boy is that hair line receding. Beth Kong actually starts crying about Syrus going home. She tells the camera how upset she is, and her delivery is hilarious. She says, ".I'm really sad. Syrus is like the only person I feel like I can trust here and honestly, I don't know if I have the strength to go on," in the most monotonous/dumb blonde/stoner tone I have ever heard. Hee. It was the only part of the episode that made me laugh.
Par-taay Time. Everyone is out drinking at a bar. Alton and Jodi are dancing and having a good time. Jodi says to Alton, "I know exactly where you're at. I've been there." She means the third bathroom stall, doesn't she? Alton drops ten points in my book with the following response: "Like love is a weird thing. It's one of those things.it's not like being drunk and then being sober." What a poet. Honestly, did he just quote Shakespeare? Who knows because this incredibly pointless scene leads us into the end credits.
Next Week: We're back to the Cara and Susie plot. Again. Some more. Oh, and there's another mission.

Campus News Briefs

University Nursing School Awarded Grant for Native American Scholarships
The University's School of Nursing was awarded a $420,000 grant to fund graduate studies for Catholic Native Americans. This grant was provided by the Bureau of Catholic Indian Missions, a Washington, D.C.-based Roman Catholic organization founded in 1874 for the protection and promotion of Catholic Indian missions in the United States. This money will be added to funds donated by the group for "The Cardinal Terence Cooke/ Bureau of Catholic Indian Missions Scholarship Fund," an endowed fund that provides tuition scholarships for academically qualified Catholic Native American applicants who belong to a tribe or have a formal association with one. The fund has given scholarship grants to students since 1985, starting with scholarships of around $25,000 to distribute to students. With the most current donation, the bureau is now funding two $1 million scholarships - one for graduate students and the other for undergraduates.

Alaskan Senator to Speak About Climate Change at Law School
U.S. Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) will deliver a speech at the Columbus School of Law this coming Monday on global climate change. In speech, entitled "Climate Change: An Alaskan Perspective," Murkowski is expected to lay out for the first time in detail her analysis of the problem of climate change and to suggest possible responses to it. Two University law school professors with strong backgrounds in environmental law, Lucia Silecchia and Heather Elliott, will respond to Murkowski's remarks. Murkowski has been invited to deliver this lecture by the law school's Center for Law, Philosophy and Culture.

The address will take place in the Walter A. Slowinkski Courtroom on the second floor of the law building. Murkowski, the junior senator from Alaska, is member of the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee. She chairs its Subcommittee on Water and Power, and also serves on the subcommittees for energy, national parks, and public lands and forests. Murkowski has assumed leadership roles in the Senate, serving as a deputy whip and as chairwoman of the class of new senators elected in 2002.

Senator Brownback, George Will scheduled to speak at University
The College Republicans are sponsoring two speakers this semester as part of their "Chairman's Speaker Series," according to College Republicans Senator Sam Brownback (R-Kansas) will be speaking in Caldwell Auditorium this coming Wednesday, February 15 at 7:00 p.m. Brownback was previously scheduled to speak on campus last month, but had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances.

The second speaker of the series is columnist George Will. Will will be speaking on Monday, February 20th at 8:00pm in the Great Room of the Pryzbyla Center. Will is a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist who writes editorials for the Washington Post and is also a frequent guest on ABC's This Week and is an essayist for Newsweek. He has been an influential conservative political commentator and his books and columns are recognizable around the world.

CUA Should Be a Part of the Community

It's no secret that the residents of Brookland and the students of CUA coexist in uneasy harmony. CUA (not being the most diverse school on the planet) needs to make an effort to reach out into the surrounding community. Granted, the safety record of the last few years doesn't exactly make most students want to venture through the Metro station. But, if students had a more positive role in Brookland, perhaps the locals would be less inclined to display animosity. This can be achieved by increasing volunteer work, patronizing local businesses (besides K's) and exuding something other than fear.

Most crimes happened late at night. During the day, Brookland is like any other neighborhood in a major city. You could get mugged outside the MCI Center or Union Station just as easily as in Brookland. It is just part of the reality of going to a school in the District. Combine that with a large population of sheltered students and the quagmire of the last few years is not surprising. The police presence surrounding campus has been increased, however, and students should make an effort to branch off of campus during the day.

The extra people going to Subway instead of Quiznos, using the wireless Internet in Island Jim's or going to CUA on Tap at Ellis Island would probably help to deter crime because we'd be giving the impression that we are not perfunctorily scared. Caf

Cartoon by Clint Farrell

Letters to the Editor

Students Reacts to 'Monologue' Commentary

In last week's editorial "University Stance Not a Shock," [Feb. 3] the editors were "thrilled that O'Connell's decision [to ban the staging of "The Vagina Monologues" on CUA's campus] comes after seeing the play." If this "don't knock it 'til you try it" approach is the standard that opponents of the policy are placing on the administration, I challenge those like Patrick St. John ["Onward Christian Censors," Feb. 3, 2006] and others who oppose the policy to live up to that standard themselves. Take the same amount of time that you would spend watching "The Vagina Monologues" and look at what the Church actually says about the dignity of women and human sexuality.

St. John's characterization of the Catholic position ("God created the human form, but Satan made our naughty bits" and "the Church's Victorian-era sensibilities about sex forbid any frank or remotely edgy discussion") shows that he has no idea what the Church actually says about human sexuality.

Since St. John was kind enough to tell me the times and places I can go see "The Vagina Monologues," I will return the favor to him. Look in John Paul II's Apostolic Letter "On the Dignity of Women" and his "Theology of the Body." They are free in CUA's own Mullen Library. Until St. John and others attempt to understand the Church's teaching and why, in light of these teachings, O'Connell believes that "The Vagina Monologues" is an offense against women, they should refrain from the farcical and unfounded attacks they mount against the administration and the Church.

Patrick O'Malley

Class of 2006

Patrick St. John's guest commentary exceeds every expectation for thoughtless commentary that one can expect to appear in the Tower's guest commentary. After first accusing Fr. O'Connell (and "most Catholic institutions") of harboring a pathological fear of human reproductive organs (apparently due to "Victorian-era" sensibilities, a strange accusation to level at an institution that predates the Victorian era by more than 1,800 years), he goes on to make his argument based on his own incidental experiences and a strange argument running to the effect "Georgetown does it, so we should too."

Rather than actually think about his commentary, St. John's chooses to engage in ad hominem attacks and lousy reasoning. St. John has clearly failed to actually read the Tower article reporting Fr. O'Connell's decision, including Fr. O'Connell's specific objections including a scene depicting the rape of a 14-year old girl in a positive light. Rather, he says, O'Connell is just hiding behind some weird term called "dignity" (a word that occurs with repeated and increasing importance in almost every Church document of the twentieth century - perhaps St. John just sees all this as an indication of an even wider conspiracy). Nor has he taken the time to read even a press report on Benedict XVI's "Deus caritas est," ("God is Love" the new encyclical) most of which dealt with the Pope's praise of human sexuality and sex itself. Instead, St. John asks us, how can "The Vagina Monologues" be against the Catholic identity of the school if Georgetown is doing it? Raising the age old question: If Georgetown jumped off a cliff…. St. John simply ignores (or is ignorant of) the mirror of his question: If CUA can't put on the play, how can Georgetown imagine that it can? Besides, St. John tells us that Catholic should show the Monologues because he knows nice women who participated in putting on the play elsewhere.

Hopefully, St. John uses better reasoning in his law school classes than he shows in his commentary; otherwise he may not be back for a third semester.

Craig Bruney

Third year Law student

Notes And Asides

Remember ‘Skip It?’
We’ve been thinking. If
ribbon dancing is allowed
in the Olympics, shouldn’t
they have a Skip-It
competition? "But the very
best thing of all, there’s a
counter on this ball!” C’mon, you know the song! Why stop there? How about hackey sack, devil sticks
or hula hoop?

Sweet Addiction…
Is anyone else completely hooked
on those Nestle “chipwiches” from the
Loft? Too bad they’re 1/4 of your daily
recommended calories.

“So you’re sayin’ there’s a chance.”
They’re calling for snow this weekend. No, really. Here’s hoping there’s enough to delay classes on Monday.

The Fifth Column

Tonight, the 2006 Winter Olympics begin in Turin, a city known more for its mystical shroud of Christ than its winter weather. The Winter Olympics are held every four years in various quaint cities like Lillehammer, Albertville and Salt Lake City.

I, for one, look forward to each Winter Olympics so I can enjoy one of my favorite television spectator sports - women's figure skating. Yes, I said women's figure skating. I am comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit I enjoy figure skating, and it's not for the tight outfits and short skirts. I appreciate the artistic skill as well as the drama. Oh, the drama.

Women's figure skating has given us amazing stories of scandal, triumph, defiance and victory. From Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding's infamous knee sabotage and lace "malfunction" drama to Katarina Witt's tribute to war-torn Bosnia in the 1994 Olympics to "Where Have all the Flowers Gone," figure skating is always a treat to watch because of the human drama coupled with the death defying jumps, spins and turns. In addition it's interesting because, unlike hockey or curling, the outcome is always extremely subjective.

Whether it's the unexpected fall, shattering life-long dreams for gold (or even bronze) or a 2-point deduction for a missed jump in the short program, one never knows what will happen. unless we are talking about the 1998 games in Nagano, Japan where there was a 14-hour difference from when the event actually occurred and when NBC aired it.

My favorite women's figure skating memory was in the 1998 Olympics. Faced with the fact she had no chance to win the gold, French skater Surya Bonaly decided to end her amateur career with a symbolic insult to the judges. With nothing left to lose, she performed her signature back flip - an illegal move under International Skating rules - in front of the judges. She actually landed on one leg, which is all that is required for a move to be considered a jump. How badass, I thought, and proof that you never know what will happen during skating.

So, to all you anti-skating men and woman, I admit proudly to be a fan of the sport and plan to spend the next few weeks rooting for the American team (minus Michele Kwan who should pack it up and join Ice Capades.) All of you naysayers out there you should too. Hey, it beats the Biathlon-I mean skiing and shooting. What is this, a Bond film? Really now.

– Matt Carnavos

Catholic Means 'Universal"

For the past two weeks, I've been fortunate enough to take part in the USG Budget Hearings. As a Class Treasurer, it is part of my duty to sit with my fellow treasurers, listen to each organization present their budget proposals and delegate the final budget for the next fiscal year. I was able to analyze every organization on campus as they come forward to explain their purpose, benefits and otherwise confirm their existence as an organization. I've learned things about organizations I never would have known unless they presented, and I would like to bring attention to a category of organizations that I believe need a little more recognition: minority groups.

I've had the pleasure and privilege to listen to FOCUS, Latin Alliance, NAACP and BOSACUA, and I would like to say I'm impressed. I have to admit that I had the original impression that many of these organizations were not important or necessary, and now I know I was wrong in thinking that. Some may not have as many members as, say, the political organizations, but there's no fewer in these groups than there are in others. Organizations like Latin Alliance boast more than fifty members.

While I was thinking about these groups, I mused over their benefits to CUA. This campus needs to do more to support the mission statements of these organizations by expressing more interest in the culture of Hispanic, African, an Asian Americans, as well as others. If CUA should be focusing on Catholic issues, they should pay more attention to minorities. There are two terms for minority, meaning 1) numerically less, and 2) socially as "a group of people who. are singled out from the others in society in which they live for differential and unequal treatment." (Louis Wirth)

Here's the truth about Catholics: despite what many who attend this university would like to believe, Catholics are a numerical minority, with the latest statistics (from the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate and Pew Research Council) saying that as of last year only 23 percent of the U.S. is Catholic (Protestants are around 60 percent, non-religious or secular is about 13 percent, the rest is made up of other non-Christian faiths, all smaller than a percent). Catholics make up only 17 percent of the world population. Catholics are also a social minority, being the religion of mostly middle to lower-class people, as well as a predominant faith in several Third World countries. Catholicism is a religion that supports and represents the minorities. This campus needs to do more to increase awareness and opportunities for minorities.

Let's look at it statistically; many colleges are predominantly Caucasian and Asian. Our campus however is only 4 percent Asian. Only 6 percent of our campus is Black, and yet we're situated in DC, which has one of the highest concentrations of African Americans in the country. And what really boggles my mind is the number of Hispanic Americans here. One out of every seven Americans is Latino. 45 percents of all Catholics in the U.S. are Latino. And what percentage of CUA is Hispanic American? Only 5 perecent.

This campus, as a whole, does not really represent the ethnic, racial or cultural faces of Catholicism, and the reasons for it do not come as a surprise to any. The financial requirements for attending CUA are steep and above the traditionally lower-middle range that Catholics find themselves on the economic scale.

Is there anything we can do about this lack of diversity? Some people may think that we shouldn't do anything at all. "If someone wants diversity, they can go to another school." If that's the case then many of the students here are missing out. Think of what it could mean for CUA to bring forth politicians and religious leaders that reflect the full span of the Catholic ethnic and racial world.

To conclude, I would like to say that I am not endorsing any topics such as affirmative action. I am simply saying that Catholic University should appreciate, support and sustain groups which foster minority cultures and that more of us should take time to see what these organizations at CUA are doing for us. Also, CUA should be more open to trying new methods of attracting minorities. My idea of "Catholic" is that of "universal."

Jacob Gallay is a sophomore sociology major.

NCSSS Masters Students Raise $6,000 for Brookland Children and Edgewood Seniors

The Master Student Association at the National Catholic School of Social Service (NCSSS) raised about $6,000 and received around 30 gifts to provide holiday gifts to the Brookland/Edgewood community. The group was able to provide 440 children with three gifts each and hosted two holiday parties for senior citizens at Edgewood Terrace.

The group started with a goal of $5,000 and raised $6,000, mostly from contributions at lunch hours in the Pryzbyla Center, during the first week of December. They had a box out for students who wished to donate toys specifically, also emailing the deans of all the schools at CUA requesting assistance. "The schools were incredibly responsive to make this happen, each dean organized something different for each school," said NCSSS Dean James Zabora.

The group also worked with a Nordstrom's Department store in Maryland to acquire donations.

This program came from Zabora's collaboration with the Edgewood/Brookland Family Support Collaborative; he has been a board member for about three years now. "The collaboration works with the neediest families from the area," said Zabora.

According to Zabora, the holidays are usually a hard time for these families, so he decided to start a fundraising effort within the school community to help the surrounding area. He appointed graduate students and professors to organize the fundraising, which was primarily run by Terence Chang, a first year graduate student at NCSSS and intern at the Edgewood/Brookland Family support collaborative.

According to Chang, the collaboration did not have to tap into their own funds at all for the season, which its normally reserved for putting money towards programs such as job training and youth development.

The group of students and professors are happy with the outcome of their work. "I am a first year graduate student so I didn't know what to expect, but it was a great project," said Chang.

"There are a lot of issues out there that we need to take a look at from a fundraising perspective. This community has many strengths as well as many needs and I appreciate the support received from across the university. If you fundraise at this school you have to start at the top, and [University President] O' Connell was very supportive of our project," said Zabora.

Next year, Zabora plans to start fundraising in September in order to find ways to increase their donation target for the neighborhood..

USG Obtains Signatures Needed for SAF Increase Referendum

Two USG groups have spent the past week collecting signatures on competing petitions to raise the student activity fee (SAF). A petition raising the SAF by $100 a year is supported by USG representatives who want the increase to fund the proposed Student Activities Center (SAC) and enhanced campus programming. A competing petition is being circulated by students who want a $70 raise and will devote the money exclusively to improving campus programming.

According to the USG Constitution, 15 percent of the signatures of the student body (in this case 458 signatures) must be collected for a referendum to be proposed to the student body. The petition then must be submitted to the Legislative Branch of USG. In order for the vote to by valid, it must pass by a majority with at least 25 percent of the student population voting. If it passes, it is binding.

The $100 increase petition is the culmination of the multi-week campaign by the USG executive board to provide funding for the SAC. Last week the E-Board presented the third revision of its spending plan, which equally divides monies raised between the SAF and programming.

USG President Daryl Lloyd and Treasury V.P. Kevin Walling declined to comment for this article and directed all requests to USG Communications Dir. Daniel D. Favarulo.

Favarulo described the signature collection process: "We have a street team of twelve student government leaders, led by Matt Fallon [Academic Vice President], Sean Hurley [Judicial Vice President] and Francesca Echelmeier [Cardinal Spirit Chair]. They go through their classes, socially, and through the Pryzbyla Center to get signatures. They're distributing copies of the SAF pamphlet and the petition before them saying that this is to take place."

According to a USG press release issued Thursday, they completed collection of the requisite 458 signatures on Wednesday. Voting will open online at http://vote.cua.edu on Monday at 9:00 a.m. and continue until 5:30 p.m. Friday. USG officials declined to give a copy of the petition to The Tower for review.

The $70 a year proposal was the brainchild of First Academic Senator Joseph Branco. Branco explained why they were circulating the petition in an interview with The Tower. "The idea really came when I realized that Executive Board wasn't going to budge on the building and the amount of money they were going to raise it by. Things got to a point where we decided we needed to take some action. We've been questioning raising it $50 [per semester]. We can't just throw up roadblocks; we need to be constructive."

According to Branco, the $35 a semester amount was the result of consultation of students. "How much [it is to be raised] should be determined by the students. This along with the other referendum helps the students decide how much they want to contribute. I got the number from people in the different classes. Some people said $50 and $25; most people said $30 to $35. The $35 would add $210,000 to the budget."

When asked what he thought the money should go to, Branco replied, "I think that the money should go to contingency. A lot of the students have wanted for it to go to contingency too. That way student orgs can present something out of the league of their budget."

Branco said he felt an increase was necessary because of the expanding needs of student organizations. "Every year, someone gets cut. If you want to have an organization we should be able to fund it. If it's an organization that appeals to the common good, we should be able to finance that," he said.

Branco stated that he hopes to present a completed petition to the Legislative Branch at its meeting on Tuesday night.

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